Weddings at All Saints
A Guide for Couples and Families
Introduction
Warmest congratulations on your forthcoming wedding!
The Pastors at All Saints are delighted to conduct weddings for church members. The purpose of this guide is to provide some useful information to assist in the planning the service. It is not exhaustive, but it does include important details not found in other wedding guides, particularly in relation to Wedding Service that we use at All Saints.
In recent decades, various strange innovations have found their way into Christian worship. Wedding services have not been immune from these unfortunate developments. It has become common for well-meaning couples, wedding coordinators, and family members to propose various idiosyncratic changes to the traditional Wedding Service, including unsuitable musical items, additional ceremonies and liturgical elements, changes to the vows, readings from sources other than the Bible, additional speeches or other contributions from friends and family members, and so on. Sadly, many churches today routinely grant these requests.
The Wedding Service at All Saints does not contain such innovations. A wedding service is first and foremost an act of Christian Worship, conducted to the glory of God, containing solemn promises made in the presence of God, in which bride and groom receive the blessing of marriage as a gift from God. With this in mind, we follow a traditional, historically grounded, Biblically informed wedding liturgy, which exhibits an enduring dignity and beauty that has developed over many generations. Our commitment to this traditional form reflects the fact that marriage is itself a divinely ordained institution, not one invented by man. In marriage, husband and wife are joined together in a relationship that reflects the bond between our Lord Jesus Christ and his beloved bride, the church. The Wedding Service itself therefore should not capitulate to contemporary whims and fads, but rather should reflect God-given Biblical principles and time-honored practices.
There are of course still many decisions to make about the service itself. Apart from such important aesthetic matters as decorations, seating arrangements, dress, and so on, there are a number of important decisions to make about various elements of the service, such as the choice and number of hymns, the selection of Bible readings, and musical choices. we also welcome any information you may wish to give about your families, so that the sermon and prayers can be crafted appropriately. With all these details in place, we’re confident that you will be delighted by your rich, profound, and beautiful Wedding Service.
If you have any questions about anything you read on this page, please don’t hesitate to contact one of the Pastors.
Outline of the Order of Service
The order of service is produced by the families and provided to their guests to allow them to participate fully in the Wedding Service. You will of course want to identify a design that you like, and there are many professional designers and printers who can help you with this.
- Prelude
- Processional
- Welcome
- Hymn
- The Marriage
- [Hymn, if desired]
- Bible reading(s)
- Homily
- Prayers
- Lord’s Prayer
- Benediction
- Recessional
You may also wish to include the names of the wedding party, details about the reception, and a thank you note to your friends and/or families. Here’s a pdf of the Wedding Service, for your guidance:
We strongly suggest that you send us a copy of the proofs of the proposed Order of Worship before you print them, so we can check that the details are accurate.
The Marriage
This section contains a fuller text of the central portion of the service found under the heading “The marriage” in the above Order of Service. This is the part of the service where the marriage actually takes place, and will be read the Pastor, with responses as appropriate. Words in bold type are spoken by someone other than the Minister, as indicated. Words in square brackets [like this] either give explanatory notes or are replaced by the names of the bride or groom, as appropriate.
The Purpose of Marriage
We have come together in the presence of God to witness the marriage of [groom] and [bride], to ask his blessing on them, and to share in their joy. Our Lord Jesus Christ was himself a guest at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and through his Spirit he is with us now.
The Scriptures teach us that marriage is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God’s purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they should be united in that love as Christ is united with his Church.
Marriage is given that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given that they may have children and be blessed in caring for them and bringing them up in accordance with God’s will, to his praise and glory.
In marriage husband and wife belong to one another, and they begin a new life together in the community. It is a way of life that all should honor; and must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly, or selfishly, but reverently, responsibly, in the fear of God, and after serious thought.
This is the way of life, created and hallowed by God, that [groom] and [bride] are now to begin. They will each give their consent to the other; they will join hands and exchange solemn vows, and in token of this they will each give and receive a ring.
Therefore, on this their wedding day we pray with them that, strengthened and guided by God, they may fulfil his purpose for the whole of their earthly life together.
The Declaration of No Impediment
As [groom] and [bride] are about to make their vows, I must first ask anyone present who knows any reason why they may not lawfully marry to declare it now.
[Groom] and [bride], the vows you are about to take are to be made before God, who is the judge of all and who knows all the secrets of our hearts. Therefore if either of you knows any reason why you may not marry, you must declare it now.
[The following paragraph repeated a line at a time by the groom, and then by the bride.]
that I know not
of any lawful impediment
why I, [N],
may not be joined in matrimony
to [N].
The Declaration of Consent
[Groom], will you take [bride] to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
I will.
[The following question is addressed to, and answered by, the bride.]
[Bride], will you take [groom] to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and obey him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
I will.
The Giving Away
[The following question is normally answered by the father of the bride. If for any reason this is not possible, please ask for guidance.]
Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
I do.
The Marriage Vows
take you, [bride],
to be my wife,
to have and to hold,
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, cherish, and protect,
till death us do part,
according to God’s holy law;
and this is my solemn vow.
take you, [groom],
to be my husband,
to have and to hold,
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, cherish, and obey,
till death us do part,
according to God’s holy law;
and this is my solemn vow.
The Exchanging of Rings
[The following paragraph is repeated a line at a time by the groom, and then by the bride.]
as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honor you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
The Declaration of Marriage
Since [groom] and [bride] have declared in the presence of God and this congregation that they will live together in Christian marriage; since they have made their promises to each other; and since they have declared their marriage by joining hands and by giving and receiving rings; I therefore pronounce them husband and wife in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one divide.
[Groom], you may kiss your bride.
Next Steps
If you wish to explore further the details of holding your wedding service at All Saints, there are some practical matters to deal with. First, please contact our church administrator to determine whether the building will be available on the required date.
Second, once you’ve done this and are in communication with one of your Pastors, please fill in the questionnaire below, which will assist him in preparing for the wedding service.
Finally, we encourage you to remember that the wedding day is just the beginning of your new life together. As Pastors, it is our goal to encourage and support you as you seek to remain faithful to Christ in this new chapter of your lives. To this end, we have prepared a series of discussion questions entitled Preparing for Marriage, which we encourage you to talk about together over the coming weeks and months. Our hope is that this will help in your preparation for marriage by raising important topics for discussion. As your Pastors we would be delighted to meet with you and talk about these matters.